How I Made A Complete A** out of my *ss With SPANX

Ever hear of Spanx? I've heard of Spanx all over the place. There was the Oprah show when she named them as one of her favorite things, then there was the inventor, Sara Blakely who was on an entrepreneurial program with her intriguing story about how she got her business started.

Gutsy woman.

She started out as a stand up comedian and came up with this great idea about cutting the bottom of pantyhose off so she could wear open-toed shoes with her pants, but still have the benefit of wearing the panty hose.

I know, I know, we could have thought of that too, but the tenacity of this woman to bring her product to market is enlightening to me.

Okay, so here is part of the description of the product on a website that I found:

"Transform your look in an instant with Spanx Shapewear. With super slimming and smoothing power, these celebrity favorites come in a variety of figure fixing styles. Choose from a wide selection including Spanx pantyhose, briefs and bodysuits. The revolutionary Bra-llelujah Bra eliminates bra buldge and is so comfortable you'll forget you have it on. Spanx can be worn under even the tightest clothes without any visible panty lines. Spanx Shapewear will completely change the way you look…and feel."

Interesting 'eh? You can fix your flaws until you fix your flaws! That was my thinking anyway.

Anyway, I decided I was going to try these out. I mean I've lost a great deal of weight that I've wanted to lose and still have some self-imposed goals before me, but I still was a little self conscious about my bottom half as I am a pear shape and wanted a little "boost" in the 'ol caboose to look better.

Even though there is mention of these fine hosiery at the finer stores like Macy's, Saks Fifth Avenue and the like, I found out that she sells a cheaper, scaled down version of these hosiery at Target. I'm a Target girl, so I went to Target (or Tarjay as I like to call it).

How exciting! Doesn't that seem exciting? I was excited.

So I went to the counter to make my purchase. I could not *WAIT* to put them on. I got them home and tried them on under my sweat pants and surmised that I could still breathe and move around okay. They looked good. They felt good.


I modeled them for my husband and asked him if he noticed anything different. He sort of shrugged, he didn't know what I was talking about. I think he would be happy if I was just one big butt, no person attached, just a butt. That would make him happy.

As a fitness professional it is really important to me to look my best. *Really* important. So I try to give myself some sort of edge until I get down to my fighting weight.




Then I started to get this hair-brained idea into my head to wear them under my tights that I work out in. What a great idea!

Wow, I could not believe I thought of this all myself. So, I made plans to wear them the next day to the gym as I train my clients.

Next day came, I put them on under my tights and went to work at the gym where I train my clients.

Man oh man did I think I looked great. I could see people looking, I could tell they were thinking, "Look how great she looks."

Yeah man that's me, looking great in my spanx.

I finally finished training my clients and went to the locker room to confirm to myself just how great I looked and man was I mortified, no I don't think there is a word for what went through my brain.

My legs looked like badly rolled sausages with too much meat stuffing.

MORTIFIED!

I took them off when I got home and they've been hanging on to the back of my office chair ever since.

I have moved further towards self-acceptance and I am now dedicated to my training more than ever. No more Spanx. No more illusions. What you see is what you get with me.